This is an exerpt from the book Developing a Million-Dollar Relationship: A Man’s Strategy to a Real Relationship.

“I love you, you are perfect, now change!” Such a statement seems to be the underlying message of most modern relationships. Most people believe that change needs to happen in their relationship, but ironically it is usually directed at the other person. They believe themselves flawless, or at least their flaws aren’t affecting the relationship negatively. Most of us honestly believe that if our woman would change a few key areas in her life, our relationship would be perfect. How selfish!

Over the years, I have met many people who actually believe that they can ultimately change the person they are with into the person they want. How many times have I heard, “Well, he may not be perfect now, but that will change when we get married.” And then there is the somewhat frustrated young man who states, “She doesn’t do what I want her to do, but when we get married she won’t have a choice.” Sound familiar? Everyone can find flaws in another person, but somehow we are unwilling to even consider that we are the ones that need to change or adapt.

No relationship was built in a day. Instead they develop gradually over time, and only with effort and the willingness to improve yourself. A relationship requires daily care, daily growth, daily change. Most of the time, the person that needs to change is yourself.

Trying to control another person never works. The only person you can be responsible for and control is yourself. Some men (and women) may be able to control their partner for a time, but sooner or later it always ends in disaster. We have enough trouble trying to control our own universe; why do we try so hard to control another’s? If you spend most of your time trying to control your woman, you will inevitably drive yourself crazy, and ruin the relationship. Stop treating your woman like a child. Focus on taking care of yourself and your woman will be fine doing the same for herself.

We cannot control what happens, but we can only control how we respond to it. Our responsibility is to control our responses, reactions, and actions. We can control ourselves through our attitudes and perceptions of our surroundings. When we have complete control over our actions, our surroundings will be taken care of.

A story is told of a man who was thrown in prison although he was completely innocent. During his time in prison, he spent his time writing. One of the documents stated that he had learned to be content with plenty and content with little. He controlled his surroundings by controlling himself.

Your future is in your hands. When you decide to change and take a step toward your goals, you are literally declaring your future. Embrace change; it will be your constant companion as long as you continue to grow. If you and your woman decided that your vision is to take your relationship to the greatest possible limits, you will both make that effort together. Each step you take will bring you closer to your goal. Never let what happened yesterday, good or bad, take up too much of today. If the past consumes your present, you are stunting your potential growth. Your only future must be built upon growth and change if you want to reach your goals.

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