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Life is about making good choices, and this blog is about learning to lead yourself so well that others cannot help but follow. It is designed to help leaders find their voice of influence.
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How To Influence An Employee Without Resentment

The other day I was finishing up a workout at my local gym when I overheard a conversation between a supervisor and an employee.  Well, that is not entirely true, because I did not overhear it like I was eavedropping, I witnessed it along with many other employees and gym patrons.

The supervisor was attempting to teach a lesson in customer service, except he was an egotistical jerk who should not be in charge of anyone. 

“Say, Johnny. Do you know how many muscles it takes to smile?” he said as if it were trivia.

“Not Really.” replied the employee weary of the game.

The supervisor looks at another employee and sarcastically asks, “Can you tell him how many muscles it takes to frown.”

The other employee, eager to play along, mumbles his answer.  

“That is right! And it takes many more muscles to frown, than it does to smile.” he forcefully says, like a drill sergeant in boot camp.

“When you are at the front desk, you need to smile at every person. Got it?” he orders.

“Yes, sir” the employee says, while trying to hide from the eyes of the health patrons and the prideful smiles of his coworkers.

I do not think I need to continue any further with the story for you to understand what I am saying. 

The supervisor who intended to teach a lesson in customer service, did so by ridiculing and demeaning his employee in front of everyone.  And he accomplished little more than robbing this person of their dignity and honor, while humiliating them, and the message was entirely lost. 

This was probably the most ineffective way of ever getting your point across.  If the employee ever returns to work, the resentment for their boss will most likely be bursting from within them.

To be an efficient influencer of your employees or peers it is essential to lift them up and not tear them down.  A lesson is received very poorly when it is done in a contemptuous manner. 

So, how can you have this conversation and have it be well received?  Here are three simple rules that may help:

  1. Talk about your own mistakes before offering a critique.  You may want to simply tell them a story, or make one up, about how you made a mistake in the past and how your supervisor devised a brilliant solution.  It would also be advisable to do it privately, and in a welcoming manner.
  2. Pull the entire team together and teach an uplifting and inspiring message to everyone about your customer service vision, and include your expectations in it.  From there you will have a platform to work from.
  3. Praise the slightest improvements honestly in front of everyone, and overlook the mistakes.  William James once said, “The art of being wise is knowing what to overlook.”  This will give them a reputation to live up to and make them feel good about themselves. 

Being a titled leader who has to uphold the rules and expectations of the office can sometimes be a difficult task.  However, handling people is an art and done properly can create a beautiful picture.

One Response

If some leaders are artists then their work is abstract. :)

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