As I am sitting here at work I happened to glance down at my wrist, and I observed I could not help but smile. The longer that I looked, the wider the smile got, the happier I became, the strength of the emotional impulses in my brain increased, my temperature began to rise, and the euphoric feelings towards my wife rose.

The reason for this “explosion of emotion” was driven by the memories brought forth by the watch that decorated my arm.

It is not typically a watch I wear everyday because it is an extraordinary watch that is more of a specialty item than an everyday watch. Yet today, I decided to dress up for work and the watch seemed like a perfect accessory.

You see, when I proposed to my wife over five years ago, I took her to the jewelry store to choose her own engagement/wedding ring. She had no idea I was going to propose to her, in fact, when I proposed I used an approximately 40-ct strawberry and cream candy ring from 7-11 that still sits proudly in our jewelry case. So as we were looking for a engagement/wedding ring for her, my eyes were drawn to an incredible timepiece brilliantly shining in the men’s watch case. I am not much of a jewelry type-of-guy, but this one was different. It appeared as if it had been made specifically for me. My wife agreed that it was a magnificent watch, but it was way out of our budget – Then and Now.

Fast forward four years – my 30th birthday, which was just a few months ago, was rapidly approaching. I personally am not much for making a huge deal out of occasions such as this, and as such, my wife and I decided to lay low on this occasion, rather than throwing some big SURPRISE party.

To celebrate I let my wife take me to Morton’s Steakhouse, a favorite hangout of ours on special occasions. (We had been there 3 times before in our 8-year relationship) Just before dessert arrived my wife tells me, “It is time to open your gift!” and with my two-month-old daughter by my side, my wife placed a small box in front of me wrapped very eloquently.

At first I had no idea what she had gotten me, but as I held the small box in my hands I realized, in order to mark this special occasion, she had purchased the beautiful watch that still lingered in the back of my mind, knowing full well it was way out of our budget. I did not know how to react at first.  Should I be angry that she spent this money…? But as I unwrapped the watch, I understood how much sacrifice, hard work, and love went into this gift and my eyes welled with tears. This moment had been marked by a small token of how much my wife thinks of me, and how far she was willing to go to show me how much she cares.  In order to purchase this gift for me my wife had to sacrifice many things, for a long time, in order to afford this watch, and it symbolizes her love and dedication to our relationship. Each time I wear this watch I relive that moment in my mind, and the emotions I felt that evening come rushing back again.

While great memories certainly do not have to cost a single penny, they are a very important piece of any great relationship. Isabel Urbano, a famous quotationist, once stated, “Though our memories of today will soon be yesterdays, they will forever live in our tomorrows.” A great memory only needs your time, effort, and good attitude. Great memories will linger in the muscle and nerve of the relationship forever.

Life with your mate is about making great memories. Shared moments in your life are special and unique moments that you can reflect upon as a couple to remind yourself of the love and dedication you have for one another. Celebrate all moments in your life. They do not have to be momentous occasions or even cost a lot of money (some of my wife’s and my most memorable celebrations hardly cost a cent), they simply require your time, effort, sacrifice and love.

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This is an exerpt from the book Developing a Million-Dollar Relationship: A Man’s Strategy to a Real Relationship.

“I love you, you are perfect, now change!” Such a statement seems to be the underlying message of most modern relationships. Most people believe that change needs to happen in their relationship, but ironically it is usually directed at the other person. They believe themselves flawless, or at least their flaws aren’t affecting the relationship negatively. Most of us honestly believe that if our woman would change a few key areas in her life, our relationship would be perfect. How selfish!

Over the years, I have met many people who actually believe that they can ultimately change the person they are with into the person they want. How many times have I heard, “Well, he may not be perfect now, but that will change when we get married.” And then there is the somewhat frustrated young man who states, “She doesn’t do what I want her to do, but when we get married she won’t have a choice.” Sound familiar? Everyone can find flaws in another person, but somehow we are unwilling to even consider that we are the ones that need to change or adapt.

No relationship was built in a day. Instead they develop gradually over time, and only with effort and the willingness to improve yourself. A relationship requires daily care, daily growth, daily change. Most of the time, the person that needs to change is yourself. Read the rest of this entry »

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Relationships are the basis of human existance.  Whether it be with a complete stranger, your closest friend, or an intimate lover; your daily interaction will produce action by those around you.  The question is whether or not your interaction will produce affirming action.  Here are three ways to have positive interaction:

Give: Winston Churchill once said, “You make a living by what you get.  You make a life by what you give.”  When you spend your time voluntarily giving to your relationships without expecting compensation you will always be able to see it grow.  Unfortunately, so many times we only see what we can get out of our relationships and in return see them deminish.  Think about what you can offer to a relationship without looking for anything in return.

Focus: When I was younger I had a friend, and it always felt like when we were together that he was complaining about one of his other friends.  This perplexed me.  I could not understand why, if this was one of his best friends, he always spoke so poorly of him.  So one day I asked why he was friends with this guy, and all of the sudden he didn’t have enough good things to say about him.  My point: if you think highly of someone, let it be reflected by the way you speak of them and promote their good traits. 

Attitude Makes a Difference: Eric Hoffer, an American Social Writer, once said, “The remarkable thing is that we really love our neighbor as ourselves.  We hate others when we hate ourselves.  We tolerate others when we tolerate ourselves.  We forgive others when we forgive ourselves. We are prone to sacrafice others when we are ready to sacrafice ourselves.” The miraculous thing about this quote, besides its insight, is that each of these statements is derived from one character trait - Your Attitude.  An attitude is nothing more than an inward feeling expressed as an outward expression, and the attitude that you chose to display will be projected upon those around you. In comparison, your attitude toward others will greatly determine their attitude toward you, and 100% of the time your attitude is determined by your choice. 

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