Self Worth - the sense of one’s own value or worth as a person

I received an email that had a humorous list of comments that various New York City school teachers had made on their students report cards.  The intent was to try to improve the child’s learning capability by pointing out their weaknesses; however, these may have had a slightly different impact.  My personal favorite says, “Since my last report, your child has hit rock bottom and has started to dig.” 

Sometimes it is hard to imagine how much a simple compliment or a helping hand can improve someone’s life and make a difference in his or her future, but with out a doubt it can have possibly the most central impact. Unfortunately, sometimes it is easy to forget, and we regretfully see someone with their faults highlighted rather than by their  potential. 

For those teachers, and even for me, this is a blind spot.  Not because I actively do not help to build someone’s self worth, but as I grow closer to those around me I tend to use this interpersonal tool.

Shortly after I graduated college I learned early on in my career just how powerful your diction and words may be.  I applied at a major corporation where my brother had been working.  Because of his referral I was able to secure a interview with a high level manager.  I remember how excited and extremely nervous I was all at the same time.  After meeting with the interviewer for a short time, she finally admitted to me that this is a Fortune 500 corporation and I was severely lacking any experience. 

She then finished the interview by telling me that I was not even qualified to be a janitor in the building. 

Dejected and very disappointed I returned home.  I remember feeling like their was no hope for me and that my future employment was not going to be what I had expected.  I had spend years obtaining a degree, and, in my eyes, it now held little value.

A few weeks later, I was meeting with my brother for lunch.  As we were exiting the building, we met his manager at the door and made small talk.  When he learned I was looking for a career he asked me to forward my resume on to him and he would see if there were any positions that would be a match. 

Shortly after, I found myself once again sitting in an interview for the same company. He looked over my resume, we spoke for some time, and then he said, “While you do not have all the qualifications we are looking for your desire speaks for itself.  It is clear that you are a self-starter and eager to learn new things.  During your four years in school you have done far more than most entry level employees.  I believe you have the potential to become a leader in this company and not only that, but I believe you would be a wonderful candidate for one of our mid-level openings.” I was offered the position.

What was the difference?  Certainly not my interview, nor my resume.  The difference was in the leadership capabilities of the hiring manager.  When you communicate or interact with someone as they appear to be, you will simply make them worse.  But when you interact with a man or woman with who they could potentially become, you will make them what they should be.  That manager understood this principle very clearly, and as a result increased my potential with only a belief that I ‘could become’.
I firmly believe that one of the most important aspects of a leader is the constant encouragement of other’s self worth.  Helping them to believe in themselves when possibly no one else would, and lifting them to new potentials in their careers.  I appreciate a quote that leadership expert and trainer, Dr. John Maxwell, shares with his students, “Believing in people before they have ever proved themselves is the key to motivating people to reach their potential.”

There is a reason he’s considered a genius.

[The following is a short exerpt from my forthcoming book, The Modern Leader: 8 Rules For Tomorrow's Top Leaders, due to be released later this year.]

Leadership training professionals such as A.L Williams call it being a ‘Two Percenter’; Dr. John Maxwell declares it being a ‘Champion, and Mark Sanborn would call you a leader with a ‘little l‘. All of them would be referring to becoming a master motivator.

A master motivator is someone who excels at illustrated leadership, a term I use for leading by example. It is simply the greatest motivator of all time. Without the need to say a word, leaders can effectively influence others. They understand that a person’s perception of you is driven by your actions and are constantly developing their motivational skills.

Actions are the magic ingredient to making leadership better.

I have found that people want to do business with companies and individuals who follow through with their Core Values, not merely print them on their website or claim they are values they hold. They live them daily.

One day, I needed to have some work done on my wife’s wedding jewelry. I took it back to the store where I had purchased it. Like so many other businesses, they had their ‘Customer Dedication Policy’ proudly displayed on the wall. However, it is not what I could see but what I was not supposed to see that keeps me doing business with this jeweler.

On a back-office dry erase board, a hand-written note expresses the essence of a master motivator brilliantly. It simply read, “Every job is a reflection/self portrait of the person who did it. Autograph your work with excellence.”

The sign got me thinking, “Do I autograph my life with excellence?” A leader’s mark of excellence is not what they say but what they do. There is no better way to display illustrated leadership than letting your actions paint a self-portrait of yourself.

[Exerpt from The Modern Leader: 8 Rules For Tomorrow's Top Leaders. Due to be released Late 2008. Helping leaders find their voice of influence. Gen-Y to Baby Boomers will love this candid look at being one of tomorrow's top leaders.]