This topic is based off the book Developing a Million-Dollar Relationship: A Man’s Strategy to a Real Relationship on one of the essential requirements of a woman – communication.

     Communication is a little thing that can make a big difference.  Most of the time we take communication for granted because it is something that we do constantly through our use of verbal and non-verbal expressions, but when communication becomes flat your action can make all the difference.  Miscommunication is what starts wars and ends friendships; it is what destroys corporations and ruins reputations.  Ultimately, communication will be the one factor that either holds your relationship together or lets it fade away. 

     If you think communication with a woman is the same as a male you are fooling yourself.  Male communication often is a myriad of grunts and broken English, saying the littlest possible in the shortest amount of time. I call this locker room talk, and it has made shows such as the ESPN’s SportCenter extremely popular.

     Communication between women takes on a much more sophisticated role. Their sentences are much more complete, and contain much more information. In time, a woman’s relationship is built upon trading secrets and opening up to one another, something that is sometimes difficult for a man to do. If you want to have a fulfilling relationship and build a lasting friendship with your woman, you will need to learn to adapt your style to a more self-revealing method when communicating to her. 

     Effective communication with your woman doesn’t mean you have to act like a girl. Your woman doesn’t expect you to be a girlfriend, but she expects you to be her friend.  That is good news for you, because a man needs his woman to be his best friend, and here are a few suggestions for impeccable communication in your relationship.  Read the rest of this entry »

     Do you know what our mission, desire and vision is here at JamesSchellman.com? Simply this - to add value to the lives of others.  That’s it.  It really is as simple as that - we exist to add merit to your life, and we believe that you can make a difference.

     By definition that is the meaning of significance - to give meaning or importance,  or my favorite definition - having or likely to have a major effect. Wouldn’t you like to say you had a major effect on something?  Put that on a resume, “I was the major effect…” I think John Maxwell, a renowned Leadership speaker and author, says it best, “Significance is found when you add value to others.”  Allow me to share a moment of significance in my life. Read the rest of this entry »

This is an excerpt from the book Developing a Million-Dollar Relationship: A Man’s Strategy to a Real Relationship 

     Last summer, I was watching the Home Run Derby during the all-star break. As I was watched, I couldn’t help but wonder, “What would the game be like if the players didn’t know how many home runs they hit, the distance it traveled, or who won?” Most likely complete boredom; fans worldwide enjoy the rush of gazing at the scoreboard and hoping to see their favorite player at the top. Not only does a player become truly able to appreciate his or her performance, but the competition challenges them to drive for more. Sometimes an athlete’s greatest opponent is their own record.

     Successful corporations drive their companies with a similar method as a sport scoreboard. They compile a company’s success in the form of quarterly results, shareholder numbers, and market share and compare them against their competitors. You cannot know where you are going or where you have been until you know where you stand.

     My wife and I have a scoreboard of our own. While its actual existence may exist only in our minds, it does serve a real purpose. About once a week, either at breakfast or somewhere we are alone, we ask each other, “Am I meeting your needs this week, or do you feel that I am doing a good job at meeting your needs?” If the answer is yes, we move on; however, if the answer is no it is very essential to listen with an open mind. Instead of feeling like my wife is complaining, I think of her just giving me her score. Just because the answer was yes last week, doesn’t mean that it will be so all the consecutive weeks as well. Relationships are about constant growth. Sometimes I feel that I had done a great job, but my wife is the judge. I have learned to view her score as a challenge to improve, and a compliment that she cares enough to let me improve. I have occasionally used a 1 - 10 scale to quantitate more delicate issues and determine the level of need. Read the rest of this entry »

Relationships are the basis of human existance.  Whether it be with a complete stranger, your closest friend, or an intimate lover; your daily interaction will produce action by those around you.  The question is whether or not your interaction will produce affirming action.  Here are three ways to have positive interaction:

Give: Winston Churchill once said, “You make a living by what you get.  You make a life by what you give.”  When you spend your time voluntarily giving to your relationships without expecting compensation you will always be able to see it grow.  Unfortunately, so many times we only see what we can get out of our relationships and in return see them deminish.  Think about what you can offer to a relationship without looking for anything in return.

Focus: When I was younger I had a friend, and it always felt like when we were together that he was complaining about one of his other friends.  This perplexed me.  I could not understand why, if this was one of his best friends, he always spoke so poorly of him.  So one day I asked why he was friends with this guy, and all of the sudden he didn’t have enough good things to say about him.  My point: if you think highly of someone, let it be reflected by the way you speak of them and promote their good traits. 

Attitude Makes a Difference: Eric Hoffer, an American Social Writer, once said, “The remarkable thing is that we really love our neighbor as ourselves.  We hate others when we hate ourselves.  We tolerate others when we tolerate ourselves.  We forgive others when we forgive ourselves. We are prone to sacrafice others when we are ready to sacrafice ourselves.” The miraculous thing about this quote, besides its insight, is that each of these statements is derived from one character trait - Your Attitude.  An attitude is nothing more than an inward feeling expressed as an outward expression, and the attitude that you chose to display will be projected upon those around you. In comparison, your attitude toward others will greatly determine their attitude toward you, and 100% of the time your attitude is determined by your choice. 

Recently I decided to write a book titled Developing a Million-Dollar Relationship: A Man’s Strategy to a Real Relationship based off of over a decade of experience and time invested in relationships, communication, and business.  The intent was to write a book that would make life a little easier for men in their relationships with women - utilizing business as ‘the model’.  I am very excited about this book and the potential impact it has to improve your current or future relationship.  After many hours spent researching, applying, and writing; the book is finally finished and is going through the final preperations for print. 

Where we are at right now:  The cover is currently being designed, while the manuscript gets a final polish to make certain that it offers the most powerful impact upon the lives of those that read it.  Very soon you will be able to find it on the bookshelves of your favorite retail outlet or your favorite online retailer. It is currently scheduled for release late Summer 2007.  But before they, bookstores, ever get their hands on it, anyone who signes up for our Pre-release sale will have the chance to purchase the book at a discounted price and receive a signed copy.  Sign up for the Pre-Release Sale. 

Right here at JamesSchellman.com/blog you will be able to find articles I have written on communication, relationships, life, and love.  And at times you will be able to read articles from guest authors.  Check back often for updates or sign up for our RSS feed.

Intrested in reading more about the book?  Visit our About page for more information.