Today my daughter, Lexi, is turning 17 months, which is 1yr 5mo old. What is the proper way to say a child’s age?

In honor of this day, I wanted to share a few life/leadership lessons I have learned from her.

FEAR Is A Learned Response

I like the way motivational speaker Paula White calls it, “FEAR is just False Evidence Appearing Real.”

Now, I am not suggesting that we do not have any ‘fear’ in life. Obviously, if you were hiking in Alaska and a Grizzly Bear charges you, having FEAR can save your life, and in that case, it would be positive.

At 7 months, she could walk with the aid of my fingers. Her favorite hobby to do every night for hours was to walk up the stairs. At the top she would slowly turn around and face down. It was almost as if she was preparing like a Giant Slalom skier in the Olympics. Then with the power of Bode Miller, she would press off and run down the stairs at a rapid pace. Then giggle hysterically when she reaches the bottom.

When her grandmother saw this she about had a heart attack. It was perfectly safe, but there is an element of danger, if dad trips and somersaults down the stairs daughter in hand. But, unless grandma teaches her it is dangerous, she will never be the wiser.

Lexi is fearless. If she could talk she would just say, “Dad. FEAR is just false evidence appearing real.”

We Do What We See

My daughter watches my every move. She doesn’t really understand my verbal language completely, but she understands my body language perfectly.

Every night I place her in my arms at 7:30 and go upstairs to spend quality time with her and rock her to sleep. It is my favorite time of day.

Recently, she has discovered dolls, and has one she is particularly fond of. The other day I caught her in her room when she thought I was not watching, rocking the baby in her arms and then softly placing her on a pillow and covering her with a blanket.

I think, I had better watch my behavior, I want her to grow up sweet and strong and as a positive influence on others, and what I know is this: what a leader does well in excess, his or her followers will do in moderation. However, what a leader does poorly in moderation, his or her followers will do in excess.

More important than the lessons I teach her, is the life I lead.

Those Closest To You Will Determine Your Future

We have all heard this said a million different ways: Birds of a feather flock together, or those closest to you, will determine your potential.

My daughter is a social butterfly, even at the age of 17 months. She loves to hang with other kids, especially if they are in the 4-6 age range. However, here is what I have noticed.

When Lexi is playing with kids who are nice and well behaved, she rises to the occasion and behaves as they do. When Lexi is playing with naughty kids who run around and cause destruction, she behaves at their standards, and as a result gets in trouble.

Life Should Be Fun

I am ashamed to admit there were times I was aggravated with life. I was not happy with my job, not happy with my finances, and I was basically not happy with anything. I was always one-step behind where I wanted to be. Than I had my daughter and everything changed.

“Happiness is not having what you want; it is wanting what you have.”

My daughter helps me see this more clearly. She does not know what is out there in the world that she is missing. She only knows what she does have, and she is elated with that. She laughs at everything, and life is just one big playground and adventure to her.

She runs over and watches the ants in the yard as they are awakening from the excessively long winter nap here in Colorado, and then she runs over and smells a freshly bloomed flower. Holding my hand and leading on her journey. But - my favorite moment is when she looks at me a smiles with her big gapped tooth smile, seemingly saying, “Dad. Life is Good.”

She made me realize that sometimes you really should stop and smell the roses.

There is a reason he’s considered a genius.

I like to read blogs from Gen-Yers. I partly read them because there is such an abundance of them. I also read them because Gen-Xers and Baby Boomers do not typically blog. However, I search out their opinions for wisdom, and if I do not find it online I buy their books.

Mostly, I read Gen-Yers blogs to learn from their perspective. To see things from another’s point-of-view (POV).

My dad use to say to me, “Son, always walk a mile is someone else’s shoes. Because then you will learn from their perspective and, if you want, you’ll have a new pair of shoes.” My father is a wise man. Jeff Foxworthy, he may not be.

Let me give you a little background for understanding on where I am coming from. Depending on who you ask, I am either the last of the Gen-Xers or the first of the Gen-Yers.

Like so many other Gen-Yers, I blasted out of college and thought I was going to change the world. Look at me world. Here I am! I laced up my running shoes and bolted for the door. However, just like to birds in the Windex commercial, I found the glass had been freshly cleaned and I abruptly slammed into the sliding glass door window. Life had given me a good dose of reality.

I read a blog post this morning by a fellow blogger, Ryan Paugh. It is titled, Why I Won’t Regret Blogging Ten Years Later. I enjoy reading Ryan’s posts. He has really good perspective, and is a creative writer. Mostly I enjoy reading his posts because I have seen him mature and grow, and he has a very bright future ahead of him. I cannot say that for all the Gen-Y blogs I read.

After reading Ryan’s post, I thought I would offer two pieces of advice to Gen-Y based off a few common themes I read throughout various blogs.

Ryan raises a very good point when he says that he is put off by people who, “… think age and experience always trump a solid, well thought opinion.”

Let me tell you first hand, The young and the inexperienced have a vast amount of knowledge and information. Many times it is the youth and inexperience that makes them such good ideas.

I think what Ryan is saying is that experience does not always mean you have the most knowledge, and that even the young and inexperienced can have good ideas. He is right.

Don’t ever stop asking questions. What many young adults are trying to say is, “Hey, just listen to me and give me a chance. I believe you will be pleasantly surprised.” Everyone wants someone to simply listen.

Sometimes Age Comes Alone

I wrote a blog a while back that was motivated by an older gentleman who said to me, “To be old and wise… One must first be young and stupid” He was offended because I called him out for saying one thing and doing another. He was embarrassed and tried to insult me by saying this.

His comment suggests that if you are young and stupid, and you hang in long enough, you will arrive and grow wise with age. That quote, however, can be misleading and one day a person can wake up and find that life has left them behind.

Growth is not an automatic process. You do not go to bed at night, lay down, fall asleep, and wake up the next day a little farther ahead than you were yesterday. Nothing is to be expected and no one is entitled to anything.

Growth needs to be a daily process if you are to mature and become wise, and one way to grow is to offer your ideas, test them, and see if you can give them wings.

Age and experience are not the end-all-be-all. Dr. John Maxwell, a leadership expert and trainer says it like this, “Age does not necessarily mean someone is mature or experienced. Age and experience are not the best teachers. Evaluated experience is the best teacher.” (SideBar: If you are looking for leadership material, check out Dr. Maxwell. He is the best in the business)
If you do not have enough experience, borrow from someone who has Evaluated Experience. Learn from them, evaluate their experience and make it your own.

There Is No Such Thing As A Helicopter Boss

This may come as a surprise to many, but I believe helicopter parents have done a huge injustice to their children. They have poorly prepared their children for the real world.

You, me, our friends – we are not the center of the universe. The world does not revolve around us, as our parents did. We are not entitled to anything. Like all those who came before us, the cream rises to the top, and if you are not the cream you will not rise to the top.

Learn to live by the world’s rules, and if you don’t like it – start your own game. When you play in someone else’s game you play by their rules.

When you go into the workplace, you will find there is no such thing as a helicopter boss. He or she is not going to revolve around you catering to your every little need.

Gen-Y wants to achieve credibility and trust, but they attempt to demand it.

You do not achieve credibility or respect by demanding it. Nor do you achieve it by bending the rules to be in your favor. You achieve credibility by delivering on someone else’s expectations. If you want to impress someone, over deliver on his or her expectations; not your own.

If you believe you are entitled to something, YOU ARE WRONG. You earn it. Some call it paying your dues. Dues can be paid slowly or, for the bright-ones, the dues can be paid quickly. You choose which path you want to take.

Here is the issue with thinking you are entitled. When I first entered the business world it was not my ambition or passion to become a leader that turned people off. It was my tone. And my tone stemmed from my belief I was entitled. I learned because of this attitude people perceived me as arrogant, and this held me back for a short time.

Today I realize I am not entitled to anything. I still have the same passion and ambition. The difference is: I understand I have to work hard for and earn the respect of others, and that makes all the difference in the world. It will move you from being perceived as arrogant to confident.

Do you want to be listened to? The truth is no one wants to listen to a know-it-all, arrogant little brat.

If you want to get ahead and be respected as a young adult, perception is everything. If you are not getting what you want, maybe, you are sending a negative perception of yourself.

Think about it.