[I recently took a 4-week class on Storytelling for Professionals from the Denver Center of Performing Arts.   I am always looking to learn new things and improve.  So I wanted to share that story with you and see what you think.  Your comments are warmly welcomed]

Photo by: Thomas D. Mangelsen

As a professional wakeboarder, the last place I ever imagined wakeboarding would be Alaska.  So, you can only imagine my shock when I received an invitation to teach for a week at a small summer Bible camp in a place where the ground is still frozen only a few inches beneath the surface, and the mosquitoes are so big they have been known to carry people away.

Let me share with you a story about how leaders lift others up.  They reach down and pull others up to enjoy life’s pleasures. They arrive just in time to be a support.  I witnessed this on my second invitation back to Alaska between two young campers. 

I was very excited to be going back to Alaska because this year both my best friend and I were chosen to teach Wakeboarding to 40 Teenagers.  Bart and I, along with my wife had arrived a few days early to take in the beauty of Alaska.  We spent three days hiking through lush rain forests looking for an Alaskan Grizzly Bear, and after three days had seen none. 

We finally arrived at the camp for the ‘meet-and-greet’ with the staff and campers, and I looked around to see if I recognized anyone from the previous year.  That is when I saw Hannah.

Hannah was a young energetic teenager, and she had been one of my students the year before.  But this year she had chosen to become a Junior Counselor and take on a leadership role at the camp.   

Hannah introduced me to a camper named Jillian.  She was a first year camper and it was easy to see she was uncomfortable.  Her appearance led you to believe she was aged well beyond her 17 years. She was an outsider and the other kids avoided her because her posture remained closed to approach. 

After our introduction to the campers, Bart, my Wife, and I grabbed our fishing rods and ran for the river.  One of the highlights for the instructors is the proximity to the world famous Kenai River.  We were there in early July when the Sockeye Salmon had just begun their spawning run.  More importantly, this year I was determined to win my pride back from my wife who had caught the largest fish the year before.  

The next morning when we arrived at the lake it was amazing.  The scenery reflected off the water like a Thomas D. Mangelsen nature photograph.

We were teaching on a small 50-acre lake, which was one of two lakes in the region warm enough to do so.  The lake was only about 10 feet deep and lined with beautiful homes.  However, instead of boats sitting in their docks, there were planes, and as we taught, planes would land and take off over our heads. 

Before teaching it is always customary to take a test run in the boat, and I had just turned around on the far end of the lake when a Bald Eagle flew down from his nest and flew right next to me no more than 10 feet to my right.  Often, I would find that in the middle of a camper’s lesson, I would stop the boat to look at a moose that had waded out to the middle of the lake to feast on the lush vegetation. 

When I pulled back up to the dock, the campers were unloading out of the vans getting ready for their first lesson.  That is when I spotted Jillian.  She appeared shy and weary and when she approached the boat, I was afraid she just might fall in the water.  

The campers wanted to watch one of us do a demonstration before we started, and, to be honest, I was very nervous.  The water was only 55 – 60 degrees, but the campers did not care.  They eagerly would jump in the water with no wetsuit and smile the whole time while there teeth chattered and their lips turned blue.  So I certainly could not put on a wetsuit and look like a wimp.  I would just have to pray I land every trick without falling. 

After I had done the demonstration, Jillian asked if she could ride in the boat with me rather than participate in the activities planned on shore.  I knew she just wanted to escape and so I agreed.  While we were on the water, we started talking about her life and how difficult it had been. 

She had been constantly handed off, back-and-forth from one parent to the other.  Now, the only reason that she attended the Bible camp was because she had received threats from a dangerous gang in her hometown and needed a place to hang out before going to live with her grandmother for her senior year of high school.   

It was clear that Jillian was scarred.  She was a good person and indeed had a bright future ahead of her; she just needed to be encouraged. 

I asked her if she had prayed about it.  She looked at me with her sad eyes and told me she does not believe in God.  How could she.  He had allowed her to live such a hard life and she had nothing to look forward to. 

I did not know how to respond, but I share my favorite bible verse with her from the book of Jeremiah – I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord.  Plans for you to prosper and not to harm you.  Plans to give you hope and a future. 

I left it at that because I needed to focus on teaching the rest of the morning, and Jillian sat quietly in the passengers side of the boat telling me when the kids had fallen and helping me handle the rope. 

That evening after Chapel, Bart and I grabbed our fishing poles and ran to the river.  My wife stayed back to get a little sleep as we were often fishing until 3am, when the sun had just set below the horizon. 

On the river, Bart asked me if I had talked to Jillian.  I replied ‘yes’.  I asked him what advice he offered her, and he said I just told her, “If she wants to know if God is real to Pray about it and Seek him”, and he guaranteed by the end of the week God would respond. 

Even though we are up over 20 hours a day, the time seems to fly by  and before I knew it we were passing out the end of the week’s awards at Chapel.  For many of the campers, this may be the only time they ever wakeboard in their lives and it is a special time. 

After we handed out the awards, the pastor got up and delivered his last message and at the end he held an alter call.  I saw Jillian get up and walk to the front and by her side stood Hannah.  It was an emotional moment and afterwards I was eager to find out why she had chosen to do so. 

I pulled Hannah and Jillian aside and asked what happened? 

Hannah looked at me and said that she wanted to do something this week that increased her faith, and she was praying a listening hard all week for God’s Voice.  She explained that the night before as the rain fell on the roof of her cabin she was praying for God to use her in a meaningful way.  And, she felt God wanted her to go and speak with Jillian.    That is when Hannah let Jillian finish the story. 

I looked at Jillian and she told me about her conversation with Bart.  She then said, “I was lying in my bunk last night and praying to God, that if he was real and if he loved me, he would send someone to come and speak to her about him and pray.” 

At that moment, Hannah knocked on the door.

Self Worth - the sense of one’s own value or worth as a person

I received an email that had a humorous list of comments that various New York City school teachers had made on their students report cards.  The intent was to try to improve the child’s learning capability by pointing out their weaknesses; however, these may have had a slightly different impact.  My personal favorite says, “Since my last report, your child has hit rock bottom and has started to dig.” 

Sometimes it is hard to imagine how much a simple compliment or a helping hand can improve someone’s life and make a difference in his or her future, but with out a doubt it can have possibly the most central impact. Unfortunately, sometimes it is easy to forget, and we regretfully see someone with their faults highlighted rather than by their  potential. 

For those teachers, and even for me, this is a blind spot.  Not because I actively do not help to build someone’s self worth, but as I grow closer to those around me I tend to use this interpersonal tool.

Shortly after I graduated college I learned early on in my career just how powerful your diction and words may be.  I applied at a major corporation where my brother had been working.  Because of his referral I was able to secure a interview with a high level manager.  I remember how excited and extremely nervous I was all at the same time.  After meeting with the interviewer for a short time, she finally admitted to me that this is a Fortune 500 corporation and I was severely lacking any experience. 

She then finished the interview by telling me that I was not even qualified to be a janitor in the building. 

Dejected and very disappointed I returned home.  I remember feeling like their was no hope for me and that my future employment was not going to be what I had expected.  I had spend years obtaining a degree, and, in my eyes, it now held little value.

A few weeks later, I was meeting with my brother for lunch.  As we were exiting the building, we met his manager at the door and made small talk.  When he learned I was looking for a career he asked me to forward my resume on to him and he would see if there were any positions that would be a match. 

Shortly after, I found myself once again sitting in an interview for the same company. He looked over my resume, we spoke for some time, and then he said, “While you do not have all the qualifications we are looking for your desire speaks for itself.  It is clear that you are a self-starter and eager to learn new things.  During your four years in school you have done far more than most entry level employees.  I believe you have the potential to become a leader in this company and not only that, but I believe you would be a wonderful candidate for one of our mid-level openings.” I was offered the position.

What was the difference?  Certainly not my interview, nor my resume.  The difference was in the leadership capabilities of the hiring manager.  When you communicate or interact with someone as they appear to be, you will simply make them worse.  But when you interact with a man or woman with who they could potentially become, you will make them what they should be.  That manager understood this principle very clearly, and as a result increased my potential with only a belief that I ‘could become’.
I firmly believe that one of the most important aspects of a leader is the constant encouragement of other’s self worth.  Helping them to believe in themselves when possibly no one else would, and lifting them to new potentials in their careers.  I appreciate a quote that leadership expert and trainer, Dr. John Maxwell, shares with his students, “Believing in people before they have ever proved themselves is the key to motivating people to reach their potential.”

That is the theme…

…or slogan, for that matter, which I would hand to an advertising agency if I were trying to redefine the image of the father. A company like Crispin Porter + Bogusky, the brilliant advertising agency behind the Burger King ‘King’ commercials, Coke Zero, the Truth Campaign (this single handedly flattened the tobacco industry), and most recently the recipients of a $300 million dollar contract to, “Make Microsoft Cool.”; would have a hay-day with this type of campaign.

I am coming off a 10-day ‘play’ binge with my daughter. A time in which I dubbed, “DAD DOES FUN.”  We spent the Independence Day holiday at our summer home, and to tell you the truth, if I could make a living playing with my daughter, I would start this very moment!

Being a dad is just pure fun. Every morning I would wake up to a great big smile and a loud “Da – DA”. Then Lexi would smack me on the face a few times just to make sure I was awake and not going to fall back a sleep again. At 18 Months old she is very effective at waking me up. 

We would then head straight to the lake for an early morning wakeboarding session, one of which included holding Lexi in my arms while she giggled and cheered as we crossed the wake and sprayed water everywhere.  Then we shared a bagel + soufle’ together at Panera.  The highlight of the breakfast would be at the end when I was preparing my coffee to go, I would have her lick her finger and stick it in the PURE sugar cane packet.  I believe she loves hanging out with her dear old dad.(… and it has nothing to do with the fact that I let her do things her mother won’t.)

47 seconds.

That is the amount of daily quality time a national study determined that a father spends with his children.

“Becoming a father has changed my life”, that is what I tell anyone who asks. What they really want to know is if it changes their life in a negative way. Everyone hears the ‘horror’ stories that you will never accomplish what you want and your personal life is over once you have a child. So, is it true that having a child changes your life? Yes – but the truth is it does not have to change your ‘lifestyle’. I would argue that the people who stop actively doing things once they have a child do so because they want to. For me having a child has increased the quality of my life 100 times over.

I have become a much better person since having my daughter, Lexi. I am far more focused and, as a leader, I am learning new and influential ways to communicate with individuals. What I look forward to the most is the responsibility of helping this young woman become a magnificent person. My dream is for her to accomplish more than I have ever dreamed. To discover whom she is and help her make the most of it, and I could not do that if I was only spending 47 seconds a day with her.