Remember, if a dog was??a Leader you would learn things like:

– When you see people, always run to greet them.

– Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.

– Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure Ecstasy and to live passionate.

– Take naps to rejuvenate.

– Stretch before rising.

– Run, romp, and play daily.

– Let people touch you.

– Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

– On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.

– On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.

– When you’re happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

– Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

– Be loyal.

– Never pretend to be something you’re not.

– If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

– When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently.

ENJOY EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY!

???

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I never really thought about this much until now.?? My daughter, ??who will turn two in a few months, is already an independant free spirit.?? Her mother and I are doing our best to teach her good manners, and instill in her important traits that will set her up for success as she grows and matures.?? While in the midst of this teaching, we are expecting our second child any day now and not only will I be teaching Lexi, but I will be responsible for another little one.??

I find myself carefully thinking about how I will handle certain situations and what I want to prioritize in my teaching so that if I have to get just a few lessons in during these critical days I will have chosen the right lessons.??

Leaders are not far from this in their influence.??

When a leader has the ability to train and influence those in his/her care it is their responsiblity to teach them diligently, raise up their character and place them in situations that will inspire them to greatness.?? I liken a leader to a potter.?? When they are given a new student it is like placing fresh clay on their table.?? As they begin to mold and shape the clay it takes form and is unique from every other peice they have made before.?? The elements in the clay, that were there before the potter began, also give each pot is unique shape and design.??

But, molding and shaping the clay is not the only task of the potter, they must finish the pot by placing it in the fires and hardening the clay.?? Only then will the pot be able to be used for its intended purpose.?? But once in the fire, there is no going back. Any imperfections in the pot will be set.??

A leader does the same with their followers.?? They mold and shape them.?? They set good examples for them to follow.?? They instill in them the values they wish for them to have.?? And then, they place them in the fire.??

Leaders understand the need for shaping their followers properly before placing them in the fire.?? If you do it too soon, you risk setting in too many imperfections that will be difficult to correct.?? But just like a child, a leader only has a short amount of time before the team sets their own.???

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Photo by: Thomas D. Mangelsen

As a professional wakeboarder, the last place I ever imagined wakeboarding would be Alaska.?? So, you can only imagine my shock when I received an invitation to teach for a week at a small summer Bible camp in a place where the ground is still frozen only a few inches beneath the surface, and the mosquitoes are so big they have been known to carry people away.

Let me share with you a story about how leaders lift others up.?? They reach down and pull others up to enjoy life’s pleasures.??They arrive just in time??to be a support. ??I witnessed this on my second invitation back to Alaska between two young campers.??

I was very excited to be going back to Alaska because this year both my best friend and I were chosen to teach Wakeboarding to 40 Teenagers.?? Bart and I, along with my wife had arrived a few days early to take in the beauty of Alaska.?? We spent three days hiking through lush rain forests looking for an Alaskan Grizzly Bear, and after three days had seen none.??

We finally arrived at the camp for the ???meet-and-greet??? with the staff and campers, and I looked around to see if I recognized anyone from the previous year.?? That is when I saw Hannah.

Hannah was a young energetic teenager, and she had been one of my students the year before.?? But this year she had chosen to become a Junior Counselor and take on a leadership role at the camp.??????

Hannah introduced me to a camper named Jillian.?? She was a first year camper and it was easy to see she was uncomfortable.?? Her appearance led you to believe she was aged well beyond her 17 years. She was an outsider and the other kids avoided her because her posture remained closed to approach.??

After our introduction to the campers, Bart, my Wife, and I grabbed our fishing rods and ran for the river.?? One of the highlights for the instructors is the proximity to the world famous Kenai River.?? We were there in early July when the Sockeye Salmon had just begun their spawning run.?? More importantly, this year I was determined to win my pride back from my wife who had caught the largest fish the year before.????

The next morning when we arrived at the lake it was amazing.?? The scenery reflected off the water like a Thomas D. Mangelsen nature photograph.

We were teaching on a small 50-acre lake, which was one of two lakes in the region warm enough to do so.?? The lake was only about 10 feet deep and lined with beautiful homes.?? However, instead of boats sitting in their docks, there were planes, and as we taught, planes would land and take off over our heads.??

Before teaching it is always customary to take a test run in the boat, and I had just turned around on the far end of the lake when a Bald Eagle flew down from his nest and flew right next to me no more than 10 feet to my right.?? Often, I would find that in the middle of a camper???s lesson, I would stop the boat to look at a moose that had waded out to the middle of the lake to feast on the lush vegetation.??

When I pulled back up to the dock, the campers were unloading out of the vans getting ready for their first lesson.?? That is when I spotted Jillian.?? She appeared shy and weary and when she approached the boat, I was afraid she just might fall in the water.????

The campers wanted to watch one of us do a demonstration before we started, and, to be honest, I was very nervous.?? The water was only 55 ??? 60 degrees, but the campers did not care.?? They eagerly would jump in the water with no wetsuit and smile the whole time while there teeth chattered and their lips turned blue.?? So I certainly could not put on a wetsuit and look like a wimp.?? I would just have to pray I land every trick without falling.??

After I had done the demonstration, Jillian asked if she could ride in the boat with me rather than participate in the activities planned on shore.?? I knew she just wanted to escape and so I agreed.?? While we were on the water, we started talking about her life and how difficult it had been.??

She had been constantly handed off, back-and-forth from one parent to the other.?? Now, the only reason that she attended the Bible camp was because she had received threats from a dangerous gang in her hometown and needed a place to hang out before going to live with her grandmother for her senior year of high school.??????

It was clear that Jillian was scarred.?? She was a good person and indeed had a bright future ahead of her; she just needed to be encouraged.??

I asked her if she had prayed about it.?? She looked at me with her sad eyes and told me she does not believe in God.?? How could she.?? He had allowed her to live such a hard life and she had nothing to look forward to.??

I did not know how to respond, but I share my favorite bible verse with her from the book of Jeremiah ??? I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord.?? Plans for you to prosper and not to harm you.?? Plans to give you hope and a future.??

I left it at that because I needed to focus on teaching the rest of the morning, and Jillian sat quietly in the passengers side of the boat telling me when the kids had fallen and helping me handle the rope.??

That evening after Chapel, Bart and I grabbed our fishing poles and ran to the river.?? My wife stayed back to get a little sleep as we were often fishing until 3am, when the sun had just set below the horizon.??

On the river, Bart asked me if I had talked to Jillian.?? I replied ???yes???.?? I asked him what advice he offered her, and he said I just told her, ???If she wants to know if God is real to Pray about it and Seek him???, and he guaranteed by the end of the week God would respond.??

Even though we are up over 20 hours a day, the time seems to fly by?? and before I knew it we were passing out the end of the week???s awards at Chapel.?? For many of the campers, this may be the only time they ever wakeboard in their lives and it is a special time.??

After we handed out the awards, the pastor got up and delivered his last message and at the end he held an alter call.?? I saw Jillian get up and walk to the front and by her side stood Hannah.?? It was an emotional moment and afterwards I was eager to find out why she had chosen to do so.??

I pulled Hannah and Jillian aside and asked what happened???

Hannah looked at me and said that she wanted to do something this week that increased her faith, and she was praying a listening hard all week for God???s Voice.?? She explained that the night before as the rain fell on the roof of her cabin she was praying for God to use her in a meaningful way.?? And, she felt God wanted her to go and speak with Jillian.?????? That is when Hannah let Jillian finish the story.??

I looked at Jillian and she told me about her conversation with Bart.?? She then said, ???I was lying in my bunk last night and praying to God, that if he was real and if he loved me, he would send someone to come and speak to her about him and pray.?????

At that moment, Hannah knocked on the door.

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I received an email that had a humorous list of comments that various New York City school teachers had made on their students report cards.?? The intent was to try to improve the child???s learning capability by pointing out their weaknesses; however, these may have had a slightly different impact.?? My personal favorite says, ???Since my last report, your child has hit rock bottom and has started to dig.?????

Sometimes it is hard to imagine how much a simple compliment or a helping hand can improve someone???s life??and make a difference in his or her future, but with out a doubt it can have possibly the most central impact. Unfortunately, sometimes it is easy to forget, and we regretfully see someone with their faults highlighted rather than by their?? potential.??

For those teachers, and even for me, this is a blind spot.?? Not because I actively do not help to build someone???s self worth, but as I grow closer to those around me I tend to use this interpersonal tool.

Shortly after I graduated college I learned early on in my career just how powerful your diction and words may be.?? I applied at a major corporation where my brother had been working.?? Because of his referral I was able to secure a interview with a high level manager.?? I remember how excited and extremely nervous I was all at the same time.?? After meeting with the interviewer for a short time, she finally admitted to me that this is a Fortune 500 corporation and I was severely lacking any experience.??

She then finished the interview by telling me that I was not even qualified to be a janitor in the building.??

Dejected and very disappointed I returned home.?? I remember feeling like their was no hope for me and that my future employment was not going to be what I had expected.?? I had spend years obtaining a degree, and, in my eyes, it now held little value.

A few weeks later, I was meeting with my brother for lunch.?? As we were exiting the building, we met his manager at the door and made small talk.?? When he learned I was looking for a career he asked me to forward my resume on to him and he would see if there were any positions that would be a match.??

Shortly after, I found myself once again sitting in an interview for the same company. He looked over my resume, we spoke for some time, and then he said, ???While you do not have all the qualifications we are looking for your desire speaks for itself.?? It is clear that you are a self-starter and eager to learn new things.?? During your four years in school you have done far more than most entry level employees.?? I believe you have the potential to become a leader in this company and not only that, but I believe you would be a wonderful candidate for one of our mid-level openings.??? I was offered the position.

What was the difference??? Certainly not my interview, nor my resume.?? The difference was in the leadership capabilities of the hiring manager.?? When you communicate or interact with someone as they appear to be, you will simply make them worse.?? But when you interact with a man or woman with who they could potentially become, you will make them what they should be.?? That manager understood this principle very clearly, and as a result increased my potential with only a belief that I ???could become???.
I firmly believe that one of the most important aspects of a leader is the constant encouragement of other???s self worth.?? Helping them to believe in themselves when possibly no one else would, and lifting them to new potentials in their careers.?? I appreciate a quote that leadership expert and trainer, Dr. John Maxwell, shares with his students, ???Believing in people before they have ever proved themselves is the key to motivating people to reach their potential.???

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???or slogan, for that matter, which I would hand to an advertising agency if I were trying to redefine the image of the father. A company like Crispin Porter + Bogusky, the brilliant advertising agency behind the Burger King ???King??? commercials, Coke Zero, the Truth Campaign (this single handedly flattened the tobacco industry), and most recently the recipients of a $300 million dollar contract to, “Make Microsoft Cool.???; would have a hay-day with this type of campaign.

I am coming off a 10-day ???play??? binge with my daughter. A time in which I dubbed, “DAD DOES FUN.”?? We spent the Independence Day holiday at our summer home, and to tell you the truth, if I could make a living playing with my daughter, I would start this very moment!

Being a dad is just pure fun. Every morning I would wake up to a great big smile and a loud ???Da ??? DA???. Then Lexi would smack me on the face a few times just to make sure I was awake and not going to fall back a sleep again. At 18 Months old she is very effective at waking me up.??

We would then head straight to the lake for an early morning wakeboarding session, one of which included holding Lexi in my arms while she giggled and cheered as we crossed the wake and sprayed water everywhere.?? Then we shared a bagel + soufle’??together at Panera.?? The highlight of the breakfast would be at the end when I was preparing my coffee to go, I would have her lick her finger and stick it in the PURE sugar cane packet.?? I believe she loves hanging out with her dear old dad.(… and it has nothing to do with the fact that I let her do things her mother won’t.)

47 seconds.

That is the amount of daily quality time a national study determined that a father spends with his children.

???Becoming a father has changed my life???, that is what I tell anyone who asks. What they really want to know is if it changes their life in a negative way. Everyone hears the ???horror??? stories that you will never accomplish what you want and your personal life is over once you have a child. So, is it true that having a child changes your life? Yes ??? but the truth is it does not have to change your ???lifestyle???. I would argue that the people who stop actively doing things once they have a child do so because they want to. For me having a child has increased the quality of my life 100 times over.

I have become a much better person since having my daughter, Lexi. I am far more focused and, as a leader, I am learning new and influential ways to communicate with individuals. What I look forward to the most is the responsibility of helping this young woman become a magnificent person. My dream is for her to accomplish more than I have ever dreamed. To discover whom she is and help her make the most of it, and I could not do that if I was only spending 47 seconds a day with her.

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I have heard it said a few times before, “You must have 12 years experience before anyone will take you seriously.”?? They believe that without experience you aren’t qualified.??

Well, if you are constantly looked at as underexperienced, how do you ever get the chance to become experienced.??

What I have come to understand is that there are two quotients involved with becoming successful/qualified/experienced - Desire + Experience.?? Too many times people look for Experience first and then Desire in qualified people, but if you look in that order you will find only 1% of the populations is qualified.?? But if you look for Desire first, you will find a person willing to??‘Undergo’??the Experience.?????

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After exchanging greetings with the hiring authority, the manager said, ???So you are looking to move up and want a promotion, eh????

?????Absolutely!?? Doesn???t everyone???? Expressed my friend.??

The manager looked at her and said, ???Not everyone.?????

Many people are looking for an edge. They invest their time in a ???top dollar??? education, outward appearances, networking, or anything that may help them emerge better than others.???? They are their very own ad agencies and continually launch new campaigns. Everyone is seeking the magic formula that will lead to success. The more competitive the field, the more relentless the search.

Do you want to know the secret to moving up and getting to the top??? When the executive team raises the question, ???Whom shall we send? Who will go for us???? Be the first to stand up and say, ???Here I am. Send me.?????

Nearly everyone, if asked if they would like a promotion would say, ???Yes.??? However, few will actually do what it takes to get there.?? They look for the handout or the short cut.?? They look for the entitlement.?? And, those approaches will fail every time.??

What is the key to success? I believe . . .

1. Vision/Determination
2. Work ethic/Willingness to exceed expectations
3. Leadership/ Because everything rises and falls on leaders

Most of all, it is being the one who stands up and says, ???You can count on me.???

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In honor of this day, I wanted to share a few life/leadership lessons I have learned from her.

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FEAR Is A Learned Response

I like the way motivational speaker Paula White calls it, “FEAR is just False Evidence Appearing Real.”

Now, I am not suggesting that we do not have any ‘fear’ in life. Obviously, if you were hiking in Alaska and a Grizzly Bear charges you, having FEAR can save your life, and in that case, it would be positive.

At 7 months, she could walk with the aid of my fingers. Her favorite hobby to do every night for hours was to walk up the stairs. At the top she would slowly turn around and face down. It was almost as if she was preparing like a Giant Slalom skier in the Olympics. Then with the power of Bode Miller, she would press off and run down the stairs at a rapid pace. Then giggle hysterically when she reaches the bottom.

When her grandmother saw this she about had a heart attack. It was perfectly safe, but there is an element of danger, if dad trips and somersaults down the stairs daughter in hand. But, unless grandma teaches her it is dangerous, she will never be the wiser.

Lexi is fearless. If she could talk she would just say, ???Dad. FEAR is just false evidence appearing real.???

We Do What We See

My daughter watches my every move. She doesn’t really understand my verbal language completely, but she understands my body language perfectly.

Every night I place her in my arms at 7:30 and go upstairs to spend quality time with her and rock her to sleep. It is my favorite time of day.

Recently, she has discovered dolls, and has one she is particularly fond of. The other day I caught her in her room when she thought I was not watching, rocking the baby in her arms and then softly placing her on a pillow and covering her with a blanket.

I think, I had better watch my behavior, I want her to grow up sweet and strong and as a positive influence on others, and what I know is this: what a leader does well in excess, his or her followers will do in moderation. However, what a leader does poorly in moderation, his or her followers will do in excess.

More important than the lessons I teach her, is the life I lead.

Those Closest To You Will Determine Your Future

We have all heard this said a million different ways: Birds of a feather flock together, or those closest to you, will determine your potential.

My daughter is a social butterfly, even at the age of 17 months. She loves to hang with other kids, especially if they are in the 4-6 age range. However, here is what I have noticed.

When Lexi is playing with kids who are nice and well behaved, she rises to the occasion and behaves as they do. When Lexi is playing with naughty kids who run around and cause destruction, she behaves at their standards, and as a result gets in trouble.

Life Should Be Fun

I am ashamed to admit there were times I was aggravated with life. I was not happy with my job, not happy with my finances, and I was basically not happy with anything. I was always one-step behind where I wanted to be. Than I had my daughter and everything changed.

“Happiness is not having what you want; it is wanting what you have.”

My daughter helps me see this more clearly. She does not know what is out there in the world that she is missing. She only knows what she does have, and she is elated with that. She laughs at everything, and life is just one big playground and adventure to her.

She runs over and watches the ants in the yard as they are awakening from the excessively long winter nap here in Colorado, and then she runs over and smells a freshly bloomed flower. Holding my hand and leading on her journey. But - my favorite moment is when she looks at me a smiles with her big gapped tooth smile, seemingly saying, “Dad. Life is Good.”

She made me realize that sometimes you really should stop and smell the roses.

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Mostly, I read Gen-Yers blogs to learn from their perspective. To see things from another???s point-of-view (POV).

My dad use to say to me, ???Son, always walk a mile is someone else???s shoes. Because then you will learn from their perspective and, if you want, you???ll have a new pair of shoes.??? My father is a wise man. Jeff Foxworthy, he may not be.

Let me give you a little background for understanding on where I am coming from. Depending on who you ask, I am either the last of the Gen-Xers or the first of the Gen-Yers.

Like so many other Gen-Yers, I blasted out of college and thought I was going to change the world. Look at me world. Here I am! I laced up my running shoes and bolted for the door. However, just like to birds in the Windex commercial, I found the glass had been freshly cleaned and I abruptly slammed into the sliding glass door window. Life had given me a good dose of reality.

I read a blog post this morning by a fellow blogger, Ryan Paugh. It is titled, Why I Won???t Regret Blogging Ten Years Later. I enjoy reading Ryan???s posts. He has really good perspective, and is a creative writer. Mostly I enjoy reading his posts because I have seen him mature and grow, and he has a very bright future ahead of him. I cannot say that for all the Gen-Y blogs I read.

After reading Ryan???s post, I thought I would offer two pieces of advice to Gen-Y based off a few common themes I read throughout various blogs.

Ryan raises a very good point when he says that he is put off by people who, ?????? think age and experience always trump a solid, well thought opinion.???

Let me tell you first hand, The young and the inexperienced have a vast amount of knowledge and information. Many times it is the youth and inexperience that makes them such good ideas.

I think what Ryan is saying is that experience does not always mean you have the most knowledge, and that even the young and inexperienced can have good ideas. He is right.

Don???t ever stop asking questions. What many young adults are trying to say is, ???Hey, just listen to me and give me a chance. I believe you will be pleasantly surprised.??? Everyone wants someone to simply listen.

Sometimes Age Comes Alone

I wrote a blog a while back that was motivated by an older gentleman who said to me, ???To be old and wise??? One must first be young and stupid??? He was offended because I called him out for saying one thing and doing another. He was embarrassed and tried to insult me by saying this.

His comment suggests that if you are young and stupid, and you hang in long enough, you will arrive and grow wise with age. That quote, however, can be misleading and one day a person can wake up and find that life has left them behind.

Growth is not an automatic process. You do not go to bed at night, lay down, fall asleep, and wake up the next day a little farther ahead than you were yesterday. Nothing is to be expected and no one is entitled to anything.

Growth needs to be a daily process if you are to mature and become wise, and one way to grow is to offer your ideas, test them, and see if you can give them wings.

Age and experience are not the end-all-be-all. Dr. John Maxwell, a leadership expert and trainer says it like this, ???Age does not necessarily mean someone is mature or experienced. Age and experience are not the best teachers. Evaluated experience is the best teacher.??? (SideBar: If you are looking for leadership material, check out Dr. Maxwell. He is the best in the business)
If you do not have enough experience, borrow from someone who has Evaluated Experience. Learn from them, evaluate their experience and make it your own.

There Is No Such Thing As A Helicopter Boss

This may come as a surprise to many, but I believe helicopter parents have done a huge injustice to their children. They have poorly prepared their children for the real world.

You, me, our friends ??? we are not the center of the universe. The world does not revolve around us, as our parents did. We are not entitled to anything. Like all those who came before us, the cream rises to the top, and if you are not the cream you will not rise to the top.

Learn to live by the world’s rules, and if you don???t like it ??? start your own game. When you play in someone else???s game you play by their rules.

When you go into the workplace, you will find there is no such thing as a helicopter boss. He or she is not going to revolve around you catering to your every little need.

Gen-Y wants to achieve credibility and trust, but they attempt to demand it.

You do not achieve credibility or respect by demanding it. Nor do you achieve it by bending the rules to be in your favor. You achieve credibility by delivering on someone else???s expectations. If you want to impress someone, over deliver on his or her expectations; not your own.

If you believe you are entitled to something, YOU ARE WRONG. You earn it. Some call it paying your dues. Dues can be paid slowly or, for the bright-ones, the dues can be paid quickly. You choose which path you want to take.

Here is the issue with thinking you are entitled. When I first entered the business world it was not my ambition or passion to become a leader that turned people off. It was my tone. And my tone stemmed from my belief I was entitled. I learned because of this attitude people perceived me as arrogant, and this held me back for a short time.

Today I realize I am not entitled to anything. I still have the same passion and ambition. The difference is: I understand I have to work hard for and earn the respect of others, and that makes all the difference in the world. It will move you from being perceived as arrogant to confident.

Do you want to be listened to? The truth is no one wants to listen to a know-it-all, arrogant little brat.

If you want to get ahead and be respected as a young adult, perception is everything. If you are not getting what you want, maybe, you are sending a negative perception of yourself.

Think about it.

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Leadership training professionals such as A.L Williams call it being a ???Two Percenter???; Dr. John Maxwell declares it being a ???Champion, and Mark Sanborn would call you a leader with a ‘little l‘. All of them would be referring to becoming a master motivator.

A master motivator is someone who excels at illustrated leadership, a term I use for leading by example. It is simply the greatest motivator of all time. Without the need to say a word, leaders can effectively influence others. They understand that a person???s perception of you is driven by your actions and are constantly developing their motivational skills.

Actions are the magic ingredient to making leadership better.

I have found that people want to do business with companies and individuals who follow through with their Core Values, not merely print them on their website or claim they are values they hold. They live them daily.

One day, I needed to have some work done on my wife???s wedding jewelry. I took it back to the store where I had purchased it. Like so many other businesses, they had their ???Customer Dedication Policy??? proudly displayed on the wall. However, it is not what I could see but what I was not supposed to see that keeps me doing business with this jeweler.

On a back-office dry erase board, a hand-written note expresses the essence of a master motivator brilliantly. It simply read, ???Every job is a reflection/self portrait of the person who did it. Autograph your work with excellence.???

The sign got me thinking, ???Do I autograph my life with excellence???? A leader???s mark of excellence is not what they say but what they do. There is no better way to display illustrated leadership than letting your actions paint a self-portrait of yourself.

[Exerpt from The Modern Leader: 8 Rules For Tomorrow’s Top Leaders. Due to be released Late 2008. Helping leaders find their voice of influence. Gen-Y to Baby Boomers will love this candid look at being one of tomorrow’s top leaders.]

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I was fortunate enough in my youth to grow up with a father who was a financial guru, and instilled in me some very useful qualities regarding finances. In fact, one of the most useful is simply being smart with money.

I risked everything and purchased my first home at 23. Shortly thereafter, I began investing any additional money I saved in my 401k or mutual funds. At the time, I really did not see the benefits, but now only a few years later I can see the why my dad always taught me to save and invest.

I remember our family financial model was built on the Rich Dad Poor Dadplatform or The Millionaire Next Door, long before there were either. My siblings and I also lived under a hood of Micro-saving that included extreme measures such as enjoying one McDonald???s cheeseburger, sharing fries, and drinking water while all the other kids ate happy meals. Am I any worse off for it today? Not one bit, in fact, that lesson has been enormously valuable especially in the current economy.

Right now, it does not matter whether you are a low-income earner or Warren Buffet everyone has their eye on the United State Economic future. With constantly rising gas prices, the sub-prime debacle, Wall Street bailouts, and constant bombardment of an impending recession it can be a little overwhelming.

After enjoying a few years of financial pleasure, my wife and I struggled in 2007. Her business is dependent on a strong real estate market and Denver, where we live, was one of the hardest hit with foreclosures and collapsing market values. Our income significantly reduced and our savings diminished. As we crested the mountain that was 2007 and gazed towards the horizon for a sign of a break in the gloomy financial weather, we could see nothing by black clouds on the horizon. One thing was clear; we were going to have to take measures into our own hands.

I remembered the lessons my father instilled in me and a comment I once heard, ???If you want to change, you are going to have to change something you do daily???.

One thing I love about the internet is how easy it is to let your bills and money take care of themselves by having your salary directly deposited into your account and all of your bills and investments automatically deducted from your checking/saving account. However, this can have its drawbacks. If you do not pay attention to your bills, you may be spending money un-necessarily.

Last month my wife and I sat down to Micro-scrub our spending habits and the result was what I call Micro-savings. What is easy to overlook is how the little things can make a big difference.

The following are three areas I recommend scrubbing to potentially put more money in your pocket without sacrificing a thing.

Utilities ??? Take a look at your utility bills. Are they unnecessarily high or are you paying for features that are un-necessary.

One example would be, my wife and I saw that we had two cell phones used for almost all our calls, and a landline that was being un-used. So we canceled the land line and saved.

Last year we also moved our cell phone plans from individual carriers to a family plan on one carrier. However, we did not know how many minutes we were going to need. Not wanting to pay overage charges, we chose the 2000 minutes a month plan. After allowing some time to gauge our usage, we have accrued over 10,000 roll-over minutes. So, we have cut back our cell phone plan to 1400 minutes and saved.

Do you have any other utilities that you can cut back on without sacrificing use? Look it over, I bet you do.

Amenities ??? These are what I consider ???Special Spending???. Items that just make you feel better such as memberships, subscriptions, or pampering that are going unused?

For my wife and I, once we found out we are expecting our second child she was not going to be using our gym membership as frequently as before over the next year. So, we put her membership on hold and saved. In addition, I canceled subscriptions to magazines that I really was not reading. Besides I can get the same content from their website and SHHHHHHH, this is a secret, it is free.

Do you have amenities that you could cut back on, change to a new program, or remove that would save you additional coin?

Self Disciplined costs or ???Risky Business??? ??? the final cost cutting plan has to do with areas that take extreme discipline or the willingness to accept the consequences if you blow it.

They involve your insurance deductibles on home, renters, or auto insurance. One area I took into consideration was my auto deductible. Insurance professionals do not recommend ever making an auto claim on anything under $1000.00 so why not raise your deductible to $1000.00. Yahoo has a great article on this for more info.

The risk is that if you have to make a claim it is going to cost you more out of pocket. However, if you are a safe driver you could potentially save money.

After everything was all said and done, my wife and I have saved quite a bit of money. Money we were simply giving to the billing companies. Since we do not have any debt, we are going to reinvest that money and put it to work for us. You may be able to do the same by Micro-scrubbing your bills improving your financial outlook by Micro-saving.

Now here is my last suggestion, which may draw a series of boos from the crowd. DO NOT SPEND THAT MONEY ON FRIVEROULOUS ITEMS! It will be very tempting to blow that money; however, I recommend using it to pay down debt or investing it in a mutual fund, 401k, or IRA.

Finally, here is where I may sound like a commercial, but it is true ??? Talk to your financial advisor to find out the right option for you.

Having money will not make you happier, but not having debt will.

This is a good basic budget worksheet to help get you started. Or this one from Fidelity

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This is the first thing you need to know about leadership, it is not a title you call yourself; it is a title you earn.

Most people make a conscious decision to be a leader like Rebecca Thorman the executive director at MAGNET. She is young and raw and very talented. She is eager to make a difference in the world so she has hurled herself head first into the Lions Den. What makes her stand out is she is willing to do what it takes to become a great leader.

Some are pushed into leadership, but make the necessary adjustments to a great at it.

Then there are others who jump in, confused about what it takes, and, as a result, remain stagnant and struggle.

I have a friend who has a few blind spots. My friend has the potential to be a great leader, but like so many others, inluding myself, he struggles with the Five Fatal Flaws of Leaders.

Insecurity ??? A leader who is insecure should never become a leader, or a person of authority for that matter. Their leadership style is characterized as Authorocratic, which is nothing more than a polite way of saying you are a tyrannist.

Insecurity causes a leader to make poor choices. They are so afraid to show their blind spots that they will go to any length to hide them. This causes them to distance themselves from their inner circle, pushing them further into isolation.

Trust ??? Trust is the single most important trait a leader can possess. An inconsistent leader is expedient at best ??? meaning they are guided by what is advantageous and self-serving. In my opinion, there is nothing more dangerous than an unethical or immoral leader.

Inconsistency ??? Employees do what they see modeled. It is purely that simply. When you say one thing and do another you become inconsistent. The result is that it reduces your credibility. Employees are far to smart to follow an inconsistent leader. The strongest leaders are those whose actions influence first.

Pride ??? the greatest enemy of a leader is their ego. Have you ever heard, ???Pride comes before the fall???? Pride in a leader has two consequences:

1. It distances you from your supporters. Because you think you are better than they are you place yourself on a pedestal above them. Then you lose touch with your people.

2. You believe you can never fail and this disallows you from being able to look at yourself with a critical eye. The lens by which you see yourself and others becomes distorted. You begin judging yourself by intentions and others by their actions, and leaders who see life this way are more concerned with Who Is Right; rather than What Is Right.

No Personal Growth ??? As a leader it is very important to understand that your supporters can only learn what you learn and go as far as you go. Furthermore, great leaders understand whatever they know; they have not always known it. This drives them to see more, do more, and learn more. Always ready for whatever is thrown at them and willing to adapt and change quickly.

Have you ever heard the comment, ???It is lonely at the top???? Any leader who has ever said this is not a leader. If you are lonely at the top, no one is following you. As one expert said, ???The real test of leadership is: If you had no ability to reward or penalize others, could you still get them to follow you????

Unfortunately, for many self-described leaders, if their employees did not colleted a paycheck, no one would be following them.

Do you call yourself a leader? If so, rate yourself in the areas mentioned above honestly. No one is watching or listening. Then think of ways you could improve your blind spots and watch your Leadership Value improve.

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The real power of that title is not hid behind a Smith & Wesson model 29 .44 Magnum. It is found in the reality of its attainment.

I am not by nature a mean person. Some day???s I just wake up on the wrong side of the bed or I allow something to affect me negatively. Ruminating on it instead of shrugging it off. I replay the incident in my head over and over resulting in a bad attitude.

To make matters worse, I often store it in my back pocket and use it as ammunition to self-justify when someone finally calls me on my unkindness. This very destructive habit can cause you to lash out at innocent people.

It is not that I am bad really. It is just that I have a practice of handing off my bad attitude by poking fun at or possibly insulting someone else. The good news is that it can be broken.

One of my personal goals in 2008 is to work on my attitude and kindness. Right now, I would rate myself at 7 out of 10, which is far better than I would have rated myself in the past, but I still have a long way to go. At a minimum, I should be operating at 8 out of 10.

I am not sure why we do it really. It seems silly and immature. Psychologists would say that we poke fun or insult others because of ???displaced aggression or the kick-the-dog effect???. You have a bad day at work so you pass-the-buck to someone else in an attempt to feel better, but in reality with each insult we are micro-fractionally lowering our own self-esteem further.

Whatever the reasoning, I recognize this behavior to be unhealthy and unproductive, and certainly not becoming of a leader. That is exactly why I am working on changing. I read an inspiring story the other day that sparked an plan. Let me share with you the story.

Late one night while traveling in an unfamiliar city, Tony Campolo wandered into a diner where the only customers were a group of prostitutes. He overheard one of them say that tomorrow was her birthday. The next night he came back with a cake and a sign that read, ‘Happy Birthday, Agnes.’ Campolo said, ???the door swung open and in came Agnes???never have I seen a person so flabbergasted. Her eyes moistened???and she started to cry.??? Tony Campolo made her day.

I realized from this story that I have the ability to make someone’s day. Regardless of their outward appearance, outward emotional appearance, or my poor attitude. Without spending a dime, I can improve another’s day and possibly mine too.

After reading the Campolo story, I decided to pay a compliment, at the very least, to one unsuspecting person every day.

That evening, as the day was winding down, I had yet to make someone???s day. My wife and I had gone out to dinner and stopped off at Office Depot on the way home for a few supplies.

As we were checking out I noticed the cashier was a little shy, soft spoken, and introverted. In a way, she reminded me of the actress in the hit TV show Ugly Betty. I noticed her nametag said ???Rebekah???. It was spelled a little differently that the traditional ???Rebecca???.

I looked right at her and said, ???That is a beautiful way you spell your name. It makes you very unique.???

Her face lit up as she said, ???THANK YOU!??? Then she became a little embarrassed and quickly looked down again. I couldn???t help but notice her facial expression never let go of that bright smile as her hands now danced as she counted back our change.

If you are like me, and I hope that you are not, many times you wait for someone else to treat you right before you treat him or her right. Or worse, you hand off your dirty laundry to them in an attempt to make yourself feel better.

Don???t wait! Be the first to brighten someone???s day and you will be amazed how good it makes you feel.

Mark Sanborn, author of You Don???t Need a Title to be a Leader, says in his book, ???You don???t help others when you feel good. You feel good when you help others.???

Great Leaders often lift others and raise them up to join in life???s celebration.

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